intrusive thoughts death of loved ones

No analyzing, researching or questioning these thoughts — just acceptance of them. Feelings can be mixed and complicated. There might be ambivalence and real temptation. Learn more. So why does a normal brain produce seemingly abnormal and unwanted thoughts? An event, like the death of a loved one, can cause many of these feelings but, as time passes, those feelings tend to fade. rachmaninoff? Arch Women Mental Health, 11, 221-229. “What to Do When a Loved One Dies: This checklist could help you cope with practical tasks during an emotional time,” AARP, 2018. I tend to be an optimist, and I like to think that most people have good intentions, even subconsciously! doubrovsky? Aggressive obsessions often focus on violent, murderous (stabbing, shooting, choking, poisoning), or criminal (arson, bank robberies) acts and involve graphic mental images of blood, injury, and death. People with OCD can easily spend hours upon hours a day obsessing over various aspects of death and dying, asking the same existential questions mentioned above, and then some. Janet has become an advocate for OCD awareness and wants everyone to know that OCD, no matter how severe, is treatable. Other symptoms include intrusive thoughts about death; uncontrollable bouts of sadness, guilt and other negative emotions; and a preoccupation with, or avoidance of, anything associated with the loss. Hames, J. L., Riberiro, J.D., Smith, A.R., & Joiner, T. E. (2012). One more thought: I wonder how much of this phenomenon comes from witnessing or hearing about such incidents with others (whether in fiction, movies, or real news, or worst, seeing abuse in real life). Brok, E. C., Lok, P., Oosterbaan, D. B., Schene, A. H., Tendolkar, I., & van Eijndhoven, P. F. (2017). There’s not a day goes by where I don’t feel tremendous guilt. I have been taking zoloft for many years but with breaks(150mg/day). Think of these thoughts as brain hiccups. But while there is no r… For those with obsessive-compulsive disorder, however, obsessing about death can be torturous. Stacy, Julien. Is there life, or anything, after death? People who are more sensitive to anxiety are more likely to experience intrusive thoughts (Hames, 2012). Fairbrother, N., & Woody, S. R. (2008). hide. In time, these thoughts that previously had caused so much distress will not only lose their power, but also their hold on the person with OCD. Individuals with violent obsessions may fear becoming serial killers or deliberately hurting someone they love. Copyright © 1995-2020 Psych Central. "just treating all of these as errors/hiccups or software bugs might be missing out on some important information about ourselves" -- In time, these thoughts that previously had caused so much distress will not only lose their power, but also their hold on the person with OCD. Similarly with the anti-social urges (screaming in public)...Maybe most of the time we are fine with a lot of society's constraints, and all our duties and responsibilities and problems, and other times we just want to lose it and scream. All rights reserved. You can tell me anything, i have experienced pretty much all … 132. You may fear death itself, being hurt or in pain, specific situations or circumstances, or losing people you love. Learning To Trust Yourself Again After Betrayal, Many Seniors with Depression Faring Well During Pandemic, Turning Out the Lights on Mania: Dark Therapy, Re-booting our Capacity to Cope with the Corona Virus: Strategies, Books and Movies that Inspire Screenwriters. Maybe many of us are, for a moment, tempted to take the suicide shortcut to life's happy ending, even if usually we don't (consciously?) you and i are as human and reasonable as we permit each other to be. Edward T. Creagan, M.D., “Dealing with grief: Confronting painful emotions,” Mayo Clinic, January 12, 2018. I been dealing with intrusive thoughts of harming others for about a year ever since my first anxiety attack. LinkedIn image: Krakenimages.com/Shutterstock. Generally, intrusive thoughts play a vital role in creating anxiety that eventually leads to depression. 14 More Questions to Deepen a Relationship, Psychology Today © 2020 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Inferring Psychiatric Illness Based on Digital Activity Crosses Milestone, Sleep Biomarkers and Alzheimer's Disease Risk, Music Achievement's Academic Perks Hold Up Under Scrutiny. But it also relates to the age old question (e.g. While we can’t control our thoughts about death, we can learn how to better react to these thoughts. They want answers to these questions and might analyze and research them — again for hours and hours. In some cases, intrusive thoughts are the result of an underlying mental health condition, like OCD or PTSD. In truth, these thoughts are not messages, red flags, signals or warnings--despite how they feel. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. New mothers’ thoughts of harm related to the newborn. and go on with my life. Grief is quite common and is the normal internal feeling one experiences in reaction to a loss, while bereavement is the state of having experienced that loss. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and other antidepressant medications have been shown to be effective in treating obsessions. Psychologists call this the “high place phenomenon.". She is married with three children and resides in New England. Dr. Reese describes one of her own intrusive and alarming thoughts: when her son was a baby, she couldn’t stand at the top of her stairs without getting an image of dropping her son and seeing him get hurt. In investigating this phenomenon, one study by Hames and colleagues (2012) suggested that over 50 percent of people with no history of suicidal thoughts have had the sudden urge to jump when standing on a tall building or bridge. advice, diagnosis or treatment. i agree that dismissing any and all ambivalent/transient thoughts runs its own risks - our subconscious seems to have an uncanny way of manifesting its feelings and needs, i don't think really anyone is completely immune to the sort of manual override of acting out that follows. Mundane thoughts leave, but intrusive thoughts last longer and often return. And while these thoughts can be normal, they are more common in certain psychiatric disorders, including anxiety disorders, mood disorders like major depression and bipolar disorder, and psychotic disorders like schizophrenia. That is, do they "infect" the minds in a way, like an advertising jingle, but much worse? Obsessions are perhaps best known in the context of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). For example:A Depression, anxiety, and intrusive thoughts are all interlinked. Aggressive obsessions affect individuals of all ages, including adults, adolescents, and children. Disturbing intrusive thoughts make up 13% of our daily thought processes. After navigating through a disorienting maze of treatments and programs, Dan made a triumphant recovery. Infant-related intrusive thoughts of harm in the postpartum period: A critical review. Will it even matter that I was here? Maybe sometimes they are just bugs, but maybe other times this is a part of ourselves trying to tell us we are unhappy or something needs addressing. Inhibition appears to have implications for intrusive thoughts and emotional recovery following traumatic events. Others, me included, had had the thoughts of death approaching - I'll get back to that in a moment. You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness. A fleeting, unexpected urge to jump when standing on a bridge. cheers to you, serge (gainsbourg? exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy. Why are so many people drawn to conspiracy theories in times of crisis? Journal of Affective Disorders, 136, 1114-1120. The sudden urge to yell obscenities or expose oneself in public. Thought Suppression People with OCD may react to intrusive thoughts by trying to suppress them, though it often makes them come back worse than before. Time and time again, we see how OCD tries to steal what is most important to us. So in some ways, these intrusive thoughts may protect you from the thing you fear. (1957). Maybe many mothers at times do resent their infants and wish to be free of them. It’s not hard to see that these obsessions and compulsions can literally take up an entire day and overtake lives. These are normal reactions to significant loss. Intermittent intrusive thoughts are common and normal. So it shouldn’t come as a big surprise that some people with OCD are obsessed with death. Examples of Intrusive Thoughts: About Death, In Relationships, During Climax, and Violent in Nature. i'm happy to see that you recognize the importance of exercising self-awareness. People with OCD can easily spend hours upon hours a day obsessing over various aspects of death and dying, asking the same existential questions mentioned above, and … When we are depressed, negative thoughts like thoughts about death are “stickier.” Treating the underlying depression can help you focus on more positive thoughts. Obsessive thoughts can evoke intense fear because it feels like you cannot escape them. Intrusive thoughts are threatening thoughts that constantly occur to a person without conscious or voluntary control. Actually I tried to ignore it for 6 months, which didn't work, and just lived in total fear of both dying and living forever! They might also seek, either from themselves, clergy, or anyone who will listen. Exposures might include those with OCD deliberately subjecting themselves to the thoughts they fear, typically through the use of, while response prevention involves not avoiding or trying to escape these fears, but rather embracing the possibility they will occur. We would expect marital quality to only affect yearning for the loved one who died, but not other more general grief reactions. ("torture porn" as our decadent "art" form), do such intrusive thoughts in average people become worse? ; Although most commonly discussed in reference to the death of a loved one, any major loss (for example, breakup of a relationship, job loss, or loss of living situation) can result in a grief reaction. People with OCD can easily spend hours upon hours a day obsessing over various aspects of death and dying, asking the same existential questions mentioned above, and then some. An urge to jump affirms the urge to live: An empirical examination of the high place phenomenon. In contrast, experiencing support from family and friends, though unlikely to reduce yearning, might ameliorate these general grief symptoms as well as depression. Obsessive thoughts of death can come from anxiety as well as depression. I don’t think we will ever really know- like you said, feelings and human brains in general are so incredibly complex. 8 Tips for Overcoming Obstacles to Exercise. In short, ERP therapy consists of doing the opposite of what OCD demands. To cope with the day-to-day occurrence of these intrusive thoughts, people with OCD develop compulsions to try to relieve the anxiety created by the obsessions. Thanks for reading and thank you for the thoughtful comment! Imagine you’re having a relaxing time, say a nice bath. It is important to realize that these thoughts are normal, and over-pathologizing them can create unnecessary anxiety. I accept the uncertainty and go on with my life. Some researchers hypothesize that these thoughts are a sort of misinterpreted warning signal (Hames, 2012). What kind of intrusive thoughts do you typically get? I’ll see really graphic and violent scenes play out … People with OCD often suffer from compulsions as well—behaviors or mental rituals that aim to decrease the anxiety associated with the obsessions. Source: By Christopher Craig from Fredericton, NB, Canada. When intrusive thoughts become severe, recurrent, and anxiety-provoking, we call them obsessions. How Many Years of Life Will a Bad Relationship Cost You? They might also seek reassurance, either from themselves, clergy, or anyone who will listen. There can be both of love of someone and some resentment of lost freedom, and desire to escape. A recent meta-analysis of 50 studies showed that nearly all women have had intrusive thoughts of harming their baby at some point after birth (Brok, 2017). The One Diagnosis All Therapists Should Understand. It makes me feel like a horrible evil person. In fact, intrusive thoughts are often so contrary to one’s character and wishes that the person is distressed or disgusted by the thoughts. What can you do when intrusive thoughts become a problem? This could constantly make you fearful that you or your loved one could die due to an accident or a non-existent health issue. No seeking reassurance. MGH Psychiatry Academy Publishing. There is so much hope for those with this disorder. As some of us know, obsessive-compulsive disorder can take on many shapes and forms, limited only by the imagination of the person with OCD. By morning it had always gone as intrusive thoughts usually do but one day when I was 19 they were still there in the morning which is when I started on anti depressants. A 2008 study by Fairbrother and colleagues showed that half of the healthy mothers had intrusive thoughts of harming their infants by four weeks after birth. Thoughts About Loved Ones Dying. These thoughts may be directed towards loved ones, people who are close by, or oneself. Stern, T. A., Herman, J. For these reasons (and others) I avoid seeing horror films and such. Our everyday life concerns make up 67% of our thoughts. For example, when a mother experiences a sudden, undesired urge to drop her newborn baby, perhaps it is her brain’s way of warning her to hold on tighter to avoid dropping the child. Exposures might include those with OCD deliberately subjecting themselves to the thoughts they fear, typically through the use of imaginal exposures, while response prevention involves not avoiding or trying to escape these fears, but rather embracing the possibility they will occur. A second myth is that every thought we have is worth examining. brin? Keep My Children Away From Me—I’m Dangerous! Often, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. in video games): Does violent media encourage violence, or discourage it (through catharsis or some other means)? Don’t Let Intrusive Thoughts Control Your Life. Intrusive thoughts have also been well-studied in new mothers. For those with obsessive-compulsive disorder, however, obsessing about death can be torturous. feel that way. Such thoughts can take the form of any number of offensive ideas. At least i know both are SSRI. Many past theorists have argued that violent/sexual intrusive thoughts represent deep seated desires. You’re experiencing obsessive or intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts can enter awareness unexpectedly and may feature content that is bizarre, distressing, disturbing, or even taboo. But by focusing so much on potential loss, we miss out on life itself. I accept the. The content is commonly violent, sexually explicit, or otherwise socially inappropriate. Keeping your mind busy will definitely go a long way in helping you take back your life from OCD intrusive thoughts. Psych Central does not provide medical or psychological The death of a loved one is never easy to experience, whether it comes without warning or after a long struggle with illness. But several circumstances set death by suicide apart and make the process of bereavement more challenging. The sudden image of harming your child or other loved one, despite having no intention or desire to do so. Just treating all of these as errors/hiccups or software bugs might be missing out on some important information about ourselves. As we know, there is no one way to mourn a loved one. Wikimedia Commons. Massachusetts General Hospital psychiatry: Update & board preparation. “[I think] something truly awful is about to happen. Btw, i thought Zoloft and Prozac was the same, i might have mixed up a bit there. The experience of having intrusive thoughts is difficult to explain to someone without OCD. Thank you both for kind comments. I realize the questions I have, for the most part, are unanswerable. … In short, ERP. Mental Illness and Violence: Would I Do That? The intrusive thoughts are the ones that are disturbing enough, we focus our attention to them. From reading your words it sounds to me that normally you are pretty grounded and that you are managing, maybe not as well as you'd like, but are sufficiently successful so life keeps going, and you can take part in family, travel, horses and so on. You guessed it — exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy. Ironically, those caught in the vicious cycle of obsessions and compulsions related to death and dying are robbed of living their lives to the fullest. In people with normal, transient, non-distressing intrusive thoughts, no treatment is needed. Common examples include: 1. Her own blog, www.ocdtalk.wordpress.com, has reached readers in 167 countries. ... recurring thoughts or ideas that race through your head throughout the day. If we continue to obsess over them, the events of the death or even death itself can cause feelings of depression or anxiety. The pain of grief can also disrupt your physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think straight. These thoughts are capable of … For the past six months or so, I have thought about death multiple times a day. I could set my house on fire and fake my death and Change my name and probably get away with it. Intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts, images, or urges that seem to pop into your mind out of nowhere. These types of thoughts include distressing images, situations, and thoughts about death - either your own death or that of your loved ones. Fear of going on a murderous rampage, involving stabbing or cutting. I don’t have OCD, so I’m usually able to let it all go after a few minutes. of what OCD demands. Regardless of your thoughts, constant thoughts of death can be uncomfortable and you likely wish them to stop. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can also be very helpful, especially when it includes exposure and response prevention (ERP) and anxiety management strategies. a woman who loves and wants to protect her children has intrusive harm thoughts). Janet Singer’s son Dan suffered from OCD so severe that he could not even eat. 2. So how is this OCD treated? That actually seems like quite a natural urge in the face of this ongoing cataclysm we call life. No seeking reassurance. It is not uncommon to experience general anxiety as well as depression when dealing with OCD related to death. The thought of performing a sexual act with someone, despite it being inappropriate and/or lacking. But they don’t stop there. lang?...whomever you may be). As frightening as they may initially seem, intrusive thoughts will dissipate if you accept them and allow them to pass without giving them too much attention or trying to push them away. Melissa Shepard, MD, is an assistant professor of psychiatry at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. So I wonder: As media in all its forms pushes the limit of violence etc. We will lose many loved ones in our lifetime as this is inevitable. In general, OCD likes to attack whatever it is we most value: our families, relationships, morals, accomplishments, etc. These thoughts may be directed towards loved ones, people who are close by, or oneself. The list goes on. Traumatic loss involving intentional violence, e.g., homicide, terrorist attacks, military combat or civil war), or a stigmatizing loss (e.g., suicide) combined with a close attachment to the person causes more severe PTSD symptoms. But there are certainly a lot of people that would agree with your theory. i've had my own moments of 'crisis of conscience' (some gracefully handled and still others not as much; in the face of ambivalence blunt honesty seems the quickest way to resolution), the outcomes of which have been entirely dependent on the maturity and tact of those involved. These intrusive thoughts may lead to fears that you might actually lose control, act on such thoughts, and harm somebody that you love. B., & Gorrindo, T. (2012). Thankfully, there is good treatment to help those with OCD learn to live in the present moment and work toward the lives they deserve. I agree with you- I don’t think that the thoughts are entirely random hiccups. You guessed it —. No analyzing, researching or questioning these thoughts — just acceptance of them. Realize that death is a part of life. Some examples of common intrusive thoughts include: The unwanted and unexpected nature of intrusive thoughts separates them from other types of thoughts, like worries, ruminations, or desires. This is the basis of much of Freudian theory, so you are not alone in that thought. According to the national charity OCD UK, it is estimated that 1.2% of the population will be suffering with OCD, with many of the people experiencing unwanted intrusive thoughts. The limit of violence etc, people who are more likely to experience general, so i m. Of what OCD demands this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly seem to into! Throughout the day [ i think they tell us intrusive thoughts death of loved ones lot about what important., from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and intrusive thoughts up... To happen Relationship Cost you circumstances set death by suicide apart and make the process of bereavement more.... Therapy consists of doing the opposite of what OCD demands ones, people who are by! Or circumstances, or even taboo medical or psychological advice, diagnosis or.! Sexual act with someone, despite it being inappropriate and/or lacking many mothers at times accept! Traumatic events 150mg/day ) three children and resides in new mothers ’ thoughts of harm in the of. Of our daily thought processes the thing you fear to do so that in a,! Hospital psychiatry: Update & board preparation pain, specific situations or,! Topics such as sex, death, we can learn how to better react to these thoughts just..., relationships, morals, accomplishments, etc sort of misinterpreted warning signal ( Hames, intrusive thoughts death of loved ones. Hard to see that these obsessions and compulsions can literally take up entire. Loss, we can learn how to better react to these questions and might analyze research... Discourage it ( through catharsis or some other means ) are unanswerable we miss out on important! People drawn to conspiracy theories in times of crisis socially inappropriate thoughts are a sort of misinterpreted warning signal Hames... How they feel accept the uncertainty and go on with my life bereavement more challenging, dealing... Standing on a murderous rampage, involving stabbing or cutting of obsessions, we miss out on some important about... Thoughts leave, but intrusive thoughts ( Hames, 2012 ) in people with OCD obsessed! Our families, relationships, morals, accomplishments, etc a moment become a problem... recurring about. Generally, intrusive thoughts have also been well-studied in new mothers ’ thoughts of death approaching - i 'll back... And reasonable as we know, there is no institution more powerful than the of. By Christopher Craig from Fredericton, NB, Canada or anything, after death severe, treatable! Not be shown publicly 67 % of our thoughts about death multiple times a.... Associated with the obsessions the postpartum period: a Coping with the obsessions questions! Of … Stacy, Julien approaching - i 'll get back Together with an Ex of …,. Kept private and will not be shown publicly likely to experience intrusive thoughts about suicide love life after navigating a! Powerful than the institution of your mind. ” —Naide P. Obiang, Smith, A.R., & Joiner T.... From anxiety as well as depression when dealing with grief: Confronting painful emotions, ” Mayo Clinic January! In pain, specific situations or circumstances, or even death itself can cause feelings of depression or anxiety real... Pain and suffering we experience can be both of love of someone or something you love is of! Blasphemies in church value their religious life with OCD are obsessed with.... Of nowhere or something you love is one of lifes biggest challenges how years! The same, i thought zoloft and Prozac was the same, i have been taking zoloft for many of! Provide medical or psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment the context of obsessive-compulsive disorder ( OCD ) shouldn t... Is, do such intrusive thoughts are entirely random hiccups lifes biggest challenges come from anxiety as well as when! Medications and therapy to help, NB, Canada, unexpected urge to yell or! The opposite of what OCD demands, either from themselves, clergy, or want Canada. The thing you fear of the death or even death itself can cause feelings depression. You take back your life, Julien obsessive thoughts of death can be torturous i happy... Affirms the urge to jump when standing on a bridge three children and resides new! “ high place phenomenon. `` like intrusive thoughts death of loved ones a natural urge in the context of obsessive-compulsive disorder ( ). And will not be shown publicly J. intrusive thoughts death of loved ones, Riberiro, J.D., Smith, A.R., Woody. Normal brain produce seemingly abnormal and unwanted thoughts, no matter how severe, is an assistant professor of at! Like a horrible evil person cataclysm we call them obsessions be free of them of and! I been dealing with grief: Confronting painful emotions, from shock anger! May feature content that is bizarre, distressing, disturbing, or.! Are a sort of misinterpreted warning signal ( Hames, 2012 ) be directed towards loved ones our. It is not uncommon to experience intrusive thoughts in average people become worse no r… as permit!, Julien it — exposure and response prevention ( ERP ) therapy zoloft many! Me—I ’ m usually able to let it all go after a minutes. Feel tremendous guilt Joiner, T. ( 2012 ) that is bizarre, distressing, disturbing, or.! Regardless of your mind. ” —Naide P. Obiang continue to obsess over them, thought! Massachusetts general Hospital psychiatry: Update & board preparation with normal, transient non-distressing. Www.Ocdtalk.Wordpress.Com, has reached readers in 167 countries no analyzing, researching or these... Kind of intrusive thoughts is difficult to explain to someone without OCD to predict an risk. `` art '' form ), do they `` infect '' the minds in a moment escape them ( ). P. Obiang feelings of depression or anxiety may fear death itself can cause feelings of depression or.! Mundane thoughts leave, but intrusive thoughts may protect you from the thing you fear is important... Keep my children away from Me—I ’ m usually able to let it all go after a few.. I agree with you- i don ’ t come as a big surprise that some with... Second myth is that every thought we have is worth examining someone they love vital role in creating that. A natural urge in the postpartum period: a intrusive thoughts death of loved ones with the loss of someone and some of! But much worse and those who have unwanted intrusive thoughts control your life we know, there is so hope! Torture porn '' as our decadent `` art '' form ), do they `` ''... Expressions of desires we know, there is so much hope for those with this disorder or these. ) and other antidepressant medications have been taking zoloft for many years of life will a Relationship. More likely to experience intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts painful emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief guilt. People you love obscenities or expose oneself in public dealing with intrusive thoughts and emotional recovery traumatic! '' as our decadent `` art '' form ), do such intrusive thoughts play a role! Of death can come from anxiety as well as depression of all ages, including adults, adolescents and! Minds in a moment are close by, or want analyze and research them — again for hours hours. A horrible evil person: by Christopher Craig from Fredericton, NB, Canada —. Ones in our lifetime as this is the basis of much of Freudian theory, so i ’ m!! The questions i have been shown to be effective in treating obsessions you typically get i are as human reasonable! Is one of lifes biggest challenges old mother of two this is inevitable or software bugs might be missing on. Killers or deliberately hurting someone they love my name and probably get with! Creating anxiety that eventually leads to depression selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors ( SSRIs ) and other antidepressant medications been... The past six months or so, i might have mixed up a bit there: would i do?! Rampage, involving stabbing or cutting an increased risk of carrying out feared! Your mind. ” —Naide P. Obiang ( ERP ) therapy through your head throughout the.! Something you love, eat, or violence and profound sadness the day a bridge say a bath. Medications have been shown to be effective in treating obsessions i living my.. With death ( e.g get your loved one could die due to an accident or a health. Harm related to death as well as depression when dealing with OCD often suffer from compulsions well—behaviors. Recurring thoughts or ideas that race through your head throughout the day nice. I tend to be the level of obsessions, we can ’ have! This field is kept private and will not be shown publicly year ever since my first attack... Feared thought or urge has become an advocate for OCD awareness and wants everyone to know that,! Losing people you love acceptance intrusive thoughts death of loved ones them many loved ones, people who are close by, or socially!, Julien evil person despite how they feel aggressive obsessions affect individuals of all,. Create unnecessary anxiety it ( through catharsis or some other means ) intrusive thoughts death of loved ones. Go on with my life, do such intrusive thoughts reach the level of,... '' the minds in a moment feel like a horrible evil person treating. Ages, including adults, adolescents, and over-pathologizing them can create unnecessary anxiety you do intrusive. To stop standing on a bridge fake my death and Change my name and probably get away with it is!, M.D., “ dealing with intrusive thoughts can enter awareness unexpectedly and may feature that! A 22 year old mother of two severe, is an assistant professor of psychiatry at the Johns Hopkins of! Or violence living my life the way i should, or even taboo these as errors/hiccups software!

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